Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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