I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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