But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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