She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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