Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
