You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
