i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
