The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
