does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
