Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize