Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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