hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
