but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just want to make out with him forever
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
