You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
