so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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