how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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