yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am available for nakedness
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
