how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
