these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
