ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
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I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize