Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
