Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
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I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?