The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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