Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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