Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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