Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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