Moan for me like Helen Keller
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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