WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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