Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
