I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
