just come out here and I will go home with you...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I need to calm my uterus...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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