there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
