I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize