Betty ford says i'm here all night
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
