When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Oh god it's open bar.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
