I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
