No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
