omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
