on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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