All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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