How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
