porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
