Define "chronic" masturbator.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize