I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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