if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
