Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sober January is a disaster.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
