It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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