I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy