so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014