I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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