The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
