I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize