Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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