yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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