he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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