so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize