you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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